From the Kitchen to the Bedroom: Breaking Sexual Taboos Through the Power of Food in Erotic Play
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Show Notes
Buckle up for a tantalizing conversation with chef and author Saffron Dubois. Saffron, who merges her culinary skills with erotic play, shares her journey from traditional cooking to exploring the kink of feeding in sexual dynamics. Learn about stigmatized kinks such as 'feeders' and the importance of removing shame from sexual exploration.
Discover safe practices for incorporating food into intimate moments so you can explore sensual experiences and embrace your sexual individuality. Be ready to think differently about both your kitchen and your bedroom ;)
00:56 Saffron's Culinary Journey
02:48 Exploring Food and Sex
10:47 Understanding Kink and Sexuality
20:03 Combining Food and Intimacy: Exploring the Feeder Fetish & Safety Tips for Food Play
26:13 Breaking Taboos Around Food and Sex
30:45 The Psychology Behind the Kink
Chef, author, and lover. Saffron Dubois takes all their passions and combined them into her first erotica cookbook.
Connect with Saffron Dubois
Get the book, FOOD & SEX: Pairing Cooking with Desire: https://a.co/d/i6FSAkN
Connect with Paige Bond
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Website: https://paigebond.com
Paige Bond is an open relationship coach who specializes in helping individuals, couples, and intentionally non-monogamous relationships with feeling insecure in their relationships. She is also the founder of Sweet Love Counseling providing therapy in CO, FL, SC, and VT. Paige loves educating people about relationships through being the host of the Stubborn Love podcast, hosting workshops, and speaking at conferences.
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Transcript
(generated by AI - please excuse errors)
[00:00:00] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Welcome to the Stubborn Love Podcast. I'm your host Paige Bond. I'm a Gottman and attachment trained, solution focused marriage and family therapist. I specialize in helping folks design and build their dream relationships through structured therapy and resources. And also use modalities that go beyond traditional talk therapy, like accelerated resolution therapy and psychedelic assisted psychotherapy.
School didn't teach us how to be good at love, so I created the Stubborn Love podcast to help you navigate it. Every episode has actionable tips that will help you create a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life with the people you love. Join me on this journey of love and learning for the stuff they didn't teach you in relationship school.
I hope you enjoyed this episode. Now let's get ready to rock and roll.
Hello and welcome back to another episode of Stubborn Love. I'm pretty stoked about this episode. I feel like, as a podcaster, I just get to meet so many cool people and personalities and just like, just fun people who really love talking about relationships and sex.
And today, we have a very special guest, Saffron Dubois, who was introduced to me, actually, because we were both guests on the Wicked Ashlyn podcast. And they have so many things going on. They do so many things. I'm not even going to go into it, but just a little preview. If you kind of like food and sex, you're going to be really pleased with today's episode.
So we're going to be talking about a whole bunch of that and a lot more. So I'll just cut to the chase. Saffron, can you introduce yourself to listeners, who you are, and we'll just kind of dive in with your story and your journey. Hello, my name is Saffron, and thank you so much for having me on your show today.
[00:01:58] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: I am a chef, first and foremost, and I love her second. I did not realize. Until recently that I am a feeder, and as I do most everything in my life with as much passion as possible, I would find that being a feeder is also a passionate kink. I wrote a book called Food and Sex, Pairing Cooking with Desire, and I read chapter one on the Wicked Ashlyn podcast.
It seems to be getting some pretty good reviews. Turns out, a lot of us are feeders. It stands to reason though, what do humans do? We have sex. And we eat, and we love. So, I'm pretty happy to put all three together. Me too. For those of you who are not watching this on video, my face is just a huge old smile because I'm exploring my own stuff and I really find so much joy and pleasure in food.
[00:03:01] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: And to combine that with a partner, with sex, oh my gosh, I think that's, like, so untapped. I don't think, like, that's normalized in the vanilla world, so I'm excited to kind of talk a little bit more about that with you. Sure. I want to go into talking about, because I don't know how much our audience knows about what being a feeder is and all the things around that.
But I'm gonna, you know, we're gonna wait to get there. We're gonna, you know, see how long our listeners can hang in there. And I want to see if we can start out with your story about being a chef. I know before we talked a little bit pre show that food has always been around you, like your whole life. Can you talk about your story about how you are chef first?
[00:03:47] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: Ah, yes. Well, okay. So, my parents separated when I was very young, and when they both remarried, at one point, all four of my parents were chefs. And I had a bedroom above the kitchen in my parents B& B. And food is not only in me, but it's in my family. I didn't realize it's also genetic. Food is what I do. So I came to the United States like 24 years ago, and I got a job in Southern California in a kitchen.
I hate saying this, but I'm just really good at cooking. I wish that I wasn't, because maybe then I would not be requested to cook all the time. Blessing and a curse. It's true, you know, do what you love and you'll never work another day in your life. I don't think that's accurate. I digress. In kitchens, I found an adrenaline and an excitement and a deep attraction for my co chefs in the kitchen.
Watching someone, man or woman, or them, just Mastering the space, and the tools, and the fire, and the flames, and the knives, and the pans, it's just, it's intense, and it's hot, and it's sexy, and I mean, let's not kid ourselves, anyone that is a master of their craft is desirable, and I found myself feeling sexy in the kitchen.
I remember the first chef I had a crush on. God, he was so hot. Anyways, I was in college when I decided pie and sex are my two favorites together. How did you discover pie in particular was the one? Well, it is my favorite food in the whole world to begin with, but I'm also bisexual and I do love all kinds of food.
Pie, if you will. I had my best friend in college who told me pie and sex, pie and sex. I can die happy if I just get pie and sex. And I don't know if he's aware because we are not in contact still. It's been 27 years. Pardon my French. And that mantra stuck with me for 27 years. Pi and sex. So, I wrote a book with that in mind.
Yeah. Yeah. Now, when you were explaining this and kind of got introduced in college, like, is this pi and sex at the same time? Is it before, during, and after sex? Can you explain a little bit more in detail if you care to share? Oh, sure. Should we tell the listeners right yet, though? Maybe we should keep making them wait.
[00:06:23] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Okay, yeah. Let's make them wait a little longer. There is something to be said about anticipation. Yes, okay, so, pie and sex. I never actually did give that boy pie and sex. I've been laughed at quite a few times by ex partners over the years. When I have asked if we could do something with food and sex, they thought that was silly or weird or strange.
[00:06:48] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: It's heartbreaking to me. Yes, and that's actually what's kind of driving my, my new career path. So I wish to no longer be a chef. I don't want to be in that kitchen. I know that most of us have felt the change in the world over the last few years. Since the pandemic, there's been a shift, I feel like. And working in restaurants is not what it was 25 years ago.
I don't like struggling with supply chain and ingredients, uh, sourcing and staffing and the low wages and just One aside, please. If you work in a restaurant, I am so proud of you. You can do this. You've got it. Don't give up. Okay, back to us now. I had to leave the industry because I had a hysterectomy just over a year ago, and I can't do that hard labor anymore.
[00:07:41] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: It's a hell of a surgery. It is. And with the abdomen muscle rearrangement that they had to do on me, I just can't do heavy lifting like I used to, which was pretty hard for me to come to grips with. But I have found a way to use my experience with food in a way that my body can handle, which is exciting.
So what was the question? We're just on your journey on how you got here. Okay. I like that. Right. Okay. So yeah, I spent many years cooking and now I'm in school. I'm pursuing a bachelor degree in creative writing and psychology, and then I will be moving into a PhD in sexology. Now I remember the common thread here in this topic.
[00:08:31] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: I would like to help people get past the feeling of, ooh, that's weird when it comes to sex, because Sex is weird. We, we look pretty funny when we're doing it. I don't think that most of sex is very graceful. We are awkward creatures, and I love that about humans. I like that we are so strange, and most of my life I have tried to lean into my strangeness to be the weird girl, which is a lonely path at times, I'm sure a lot of you can relate.
While weird is Strived for, it is also often, I don't know, stuck in the corner. Judged. Yeah. So, there is a growing movement of the shame free thing with love, and I don't know if I'm allowed to plug him, but he's a great influence in my life. Thanks to a dear friend, I was referred to listen to the Savage Love podcast, and Dan Savage says, never yuck anyone's yum.
And, He's so absolutely right, and that's the thing is, it takes all kinds. Every single person is different. If you can imagine it, it's out there. And the world has gotten scarier, I think, as the years are going by. And, if your strange little kink that is making you extra weird is what gets you through the day, there is nothing to be ashamed of.
All of us have a kink in our pocket. You go to the grocery store, and you see someone shopping in the aisle, and they're looking at oatmeal, but they're smiling in some funny little way. Maybe they're remembering Oh, what they did with their partner last night and some pie and some sex and, oh, well, everything's okay and they smile and they grin and they get through their day and I am learning in my experience as an online dom, as a growing and learning love coach, that yes, Absolutely everyone has some form of kink.
I like mine. It's a feeder. Yes. And we're almost there, but not yet. I'm gonna still let that sit. Because I want to go back to what you brought up about being an online dom. Oh, sure. And I know we had a bit of a conversation about that and what you found as a common theme a lot as a request whenever you started working in that role.
[00:11:04] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: So can you talk a little bit about it, what you kind of expected starting your work as an online dom and then How it turned out. Mmm, sure. Well, I started dabbling in it with photos of my feet. And, not just feet though, of course. My lover and I were plating my feet into food. Like it was an ingredient. So, he's a pastry chef and his plating And so I sit back and I let him make art on the plate and my foot is the center of it and it's absolutely wonderful.
[00:11:40] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: I like being spoiled. I like being the center of attention. Yes, I do love the sound of my own voice. I do too, and many listeners as well. I also have a kitty here who apparently likes the sound of his voice. Okay, so the foot pictures didn't actually drum up as much revenue as I'd hoped. What they did seem to chum into the water though, was clients that wanted me to talk more about kink.
And so I just kind of organically leaned into being a dom. It comes naturally to me. I am not the harsh and abusive dom. I am a mommy dom. Can you explain what that is? Yeah, I would love to. It would seem that more men than we think have mommy issues. And it is helpful for a lot of guys to I don't know.
Have mommy tell them how to do everything. It does get a little strange at times, but the stranger the better, if you ask me. So, some of my pets would like me to praise them and tell them when they've been a very good boy. Some of them want to have me tell them That they need to do their chores, and clean their room, and have they done their homework?
It's a funny thing, but in all of the discussions, you have to really know what it is your client is coming to you for. So there's a lot of getting to know them, and in that process, I have found that, gosh, at least 90 percent of my clients would rather talk about their kink and why they have it. Then how to properly jerk off or something, you know, it's like they're, they want me to tell them you're okay and they are.
And so that's what I want to do with my school, my degree, my eventual sex clinic. I want to teach healthy kinktuality. So everyone has sexuality. And you know, the big thing is, do you have a healthy relationship with your own sexuality? And. I would like to take that just maybe a step further and this will be my thesis as well.
What is healthy kinktuality and do you have a relationship with yours? Yeah, so now for the listeners out there who may identify as more vanilla Yeah, have not even thought about or explored or even heard of kink Who may be listening to this and are like, yeah Oh, I never thought about that. You know, maybe there is something there.
There is, and I think there's definitely a stigma around the word kink. I'm willing to bet that most everyone's initial reaction is, Oh, that's leather and chains and whipping and spanking. But that's actually not true. Yes, that is not true. Kink is a wide open term. Enjoying to have sex in the outdoors. Is a kink.
You , there are so many kinks. Furries are kinks, butt plugs. I think that might be classified as a kink. Oh, meow. Did you hear the cat Meow ? I did. Now that's a kink. Yes. So they heard furry and they're like, I'm coming, mom. That's right. So yeah, kink is a little more versatile than I think most people. Assume.
And so you can become more self aware and be afraid of what you see, or you can fall in love with it. And I am rapidly falling more and more in love with who I am and the knowledge that I'm learning. And I want to help other people love themselves as well because we're all worthy of self love.
[00:15:32] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: I see that as like the big push for what you're doing is to let people feel like they're normal, like they're not out of the ordinary, like weird is okay.
Taboo is okay. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy life.
[00:15:50] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: Yeah, a lot of boys come to me and they're like, I shouldn't do this. I don't think I should do this. And I'm like, why not? What's the problem? Do you go blow your paycheck on booze and drugs? Do you go to the bar every weekend? Do you buy prostitutes? Like, what do you do with your money?
If you find yourself doing something in your life that brings you pleasure, and it is not affecting your quality of life or the quality of life of your immediate family, Why not do it? I mean, I just finished an assignment last night for school that was talking about paraphilia, and all the different fetishistic types of philias that we could have.
Like, uh, who's to say that it's wrong for someone to be in love with their tractor, you know? If that person is bringing joy to themselves by their kink, Why should I tell them that they shouldn't have that? This is a very strange conundrum that I'm seeing and I, I hope that my schooling can help me understand it more.
Why do humans want to stop other humans from enjoying themselves?
[00:16:56] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: I hope you're enjoying this episode. I want to take a moment to invite you to sign up for my free Attachment Dynamics workshop. We have partners use this as a foundation before we get started in relationship therapy. By watching this, you'll learn how to recognize negative communication patterns, understand how power dynamics show up in conflict, And, most importantly, discover ways to turn conflict into opportunities for deeper emotional connection.
And the best part? This is free for you. Make sure to head to paigebond.com or hit the link in the show notes to access it For free. Now let's get back to the episode.
[00:17:36] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: Why do humans want to stop other humans from enjoying themselves?
[00:17:42] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: That's such a big question.
[00:17:45] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: It is. And so, let's be happy for other people's joy. Let's take pleasure in other people's pleasure. And of course, the kink thing is huge.
Maybe you do get off on being in a little bit of pain. And if that's the case, that's beautiful. Tell me. Communicate. Give me consent. And tell me what you want, and we can go there. I will tell you my boundaries and I will give you consent and we can have safe words and we know how far to take it and when to stop.
I mean there is no shame in kink unless of course shame is the kink and if that's the case then let's go there too. Like there is every possible angle available to us as humans to enjoy, to explore, and to learn about each other. So I feel like I've learned a lot about food. And now I want to learn more about humans and society and the way that we think and the way that we love, and I feel like this is a really excellent balance for myself.
[00:18:49] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: And I'm so excited that you're coming into this field as Someone with so much knowledge and passion. Hmm. Oh, I can't wait to see what the future has for you. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. It's, it's exciting. This is why I like doing the podcast. I love meeting just other people who are very sex positive, who help people live their lives the way that they want to.
Even. At first, there's like this layer of shame. They can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and that they get to enjoy life.
[00:19:22] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: Yes. Life is too short not to have a good time.
[00:19:24] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Yeah.
[00:19:25] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: I do also believe that everyone is practicing hedonist at one point in their life, whether they're willing to admit it or not.
Everything we do is for our own pleasure, and you can break that down into the most simplest of things. Are you pleased when you're warm, safe, well fed, and happy? Yeah. When you're at home, that is the pursuit of pleasure. You are a Hayden. We are in essence hedonistic.
[00:19:50] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: That's okay. . I'm fine with it. I am too.
I like to have a good time. . Oh my. So speaking of good time, I think it is time. Okay.
[00:20:03] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: Alright. So the chapter that I read on Wicked Ashland is called Eggs Benedict. And it is about licking hollandaise off of my lover's cock. And there is also a chapter called Pie and Sex. And let's use that as a specific example.
So, the first time that I had food and sex together was with pie and a lover. I baked the pie myself. I made the pastry. I made the filling. I picked out the berries at the farmer's market. Every single step of this pie, I put love and attention and focus and effort into. My lover came home. I said, it's time.
Are you ready? I made him lay in the bed, and I brought a slice of pie, and of course we had our little foreplay. He gets excited. He was already hard, of course. And so I climb on with the plate in my hand, and I ride him, and I give him a little bite of pie, and I ask him if he likes it. Do you like my pie, baby?
It's not messy. It's not like I'm covering him in pie. It's Like, I'm feeding him, I'm fulfilling him, I'm satisfying him. With my body, with my effort, with my talent, with my art. It's like, we have plans to paint me. And I think that's pretty fun because it's a new angle of kink I haven't yet explored. Like, I am art.
Make me the art. So, my style of Being a feeder is to give my passion to my part. And so maybe that's what someone else might really enjoy. I mean, a lot of us love having dinner ready for our partner when they get home from work, right? Put on some high heels, a little cute apron, maybe make room on the table to lay yourself down between the plates so they have a choice of the buffet.
What are we going to eat first? You know, it's It's so versatile that you can come up with almost anything. Of course, please, this is a PSA, do not forget basic sanitation when it comes to washing your hands in between certain ingredients. You don't want to put cayenne pepper on a penis or slide it into your lips.
No, no, no. So it does take some amount of being conscious and careful of your sexual play, but that I think is. Important in any sexual play.
[00:22:34] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Yeah, I was actually going to ask about that. Like are there certain safety procedures or precautions that You need to follow to make sure you know to avoid infection to avoid injury things like that
[00:22:50] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: Yeah, so cross contamination, of course wash your hands.
I'm Typically not using any raw meats in this it's usually sweet Forms of food, sometimes savory. You often don't want to actually insert any food into your vagina. Unless maybe it's like a strawberry, and you can push it out. I don't know. I've done that before. That's pretty fun. But play responsibly.
Play respectfully. Make sure you have consent from your partner before you do anything with a specific ingredient or recipe. I like hollandaise as a sauce to lick off the body because it's a nice temperature. It's not too hot. It's not gonna burn anyone. It's not cold. It's not shocking. The consistency is quite thick.
It's a little savory. Honestly, I've been told hollandaise is similar in texture and consistency to cum. So that makes it an interesting application in the bedroom as well. So remember to sanitize, cross contamination, be aware of that. I think if you've gotten far enough with food and sex to combine the two, you probably have a pretty good grasp of how to be clean.
At least I hope you do.
[00:24:08] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Yeah. And as you're talking about that and all the different aspects of like, just the hollandaise like temperature, the texture, taste. I mean, you got me thinking, like, there's so big of an aspect in this that sounds like sensory. It is. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yes. Like it reminds me of like,
[00:24:30] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: yeah.
Okay. Go into this. Yeah. Super fun. So I'm sure most of us have seen Fifty Shades of Grey or read the book. They definitely showed us the Sensory pleasure of being blindfolded and having different objects touch your body. So, you can do the same with food. Run a popsicle down your lover's body. Now, I did say you shouldn't insert anything, but I do like having a popsicle inserted every now and again.
[00:25:01] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: That's gotta be so cold! Oh, it's cold!
[00:25:05] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: It's not for long, just in and
[00:25:06] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: out,
[00:25:07] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: you know?
[00:25:08] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Yeah, that's true. Vagina owners have very warm, or vulva owners have very warm ecosystem inside there, so. I'm sure,
[00:25:18] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: do be sure that you shower after that as well though. So, yeah, different textures of the food. How How sensual do you want to be with your partner?
Another important aspect, I think, of my experience with feeding is to really slow things down. There is definitely something gloriously sexy about slow and steady. And so you can give someone a tease of a taste to know, Did you like that? Do you want more? There's so far you can go with food and sex. Most recipes have been invented, but if you're gonna involve the human body as an ingredient, I think that leaves a lot of open recipes to be created.
[00:26:02] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Oh, yeah. Now my mind is just Yeah. I just thought of like, how are we not talking about this more? Because some of us have, you know, maybe gotten to the point where we explored the other sensories that we try to play on the body of like maybe wax or, you know, some, some other type of Maybe inedible that we use in in our sex and our foreplay, but no one really talks about food in sex I'm curious if you have maybe a best guess on why you think that
[00:26:40] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: is.
I think it just fits into the whole taboo category. Anything that's not of the norm, not standard, is, uh, just kind of swept aside and put under the label of kink, and kink is too weird to talk about. But that's a major focus of the course that I just completed, is, uh, shame is the source of a lot of our Mental complications as we age, and there really is no use in being ashamed.
Gets you off.
[00:27:12] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Yeah, there's no function. Like, how does it actually do anything good for you?
[00:27:19] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: Right? Right. So, there's a lot of things that, We don't like to talk about when it comes to sex. We don't want to talk about it with our parents. We don't want to talk about it with young kids. We don't want to talk about old people having sex.
If it isn't just the straight up normal, I mean, most people don't even want to talk about gay sex. It's just hetero this, hetero that, and definitely don't step outside the boundaries. But that's kind of who I am and how I would love to be a role model for other people is to fly your freak flag high. And be proud of who you are.
And if you like something taboo, I am quite sure that other people do as well. You're not alone. Nobody is truly alone in this big world. There are so many of us and so many strange things that we all like. There's something unifying in that.
[00:28:11] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Yeah, so I'm wondering If, you know, we have a listener who is like, Oh, I might want to try this.
I'm curious if you have some like first tips or if maybe even like types of food that could be a good introduction using food insights. Yeah.
[00:28:32] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: I think the easiest way to get into this would be with sauces or syrup. Something you can pour on your lover and then lick off. Honey is a good one. Honey on a penis or a pussy.
It actually takes some effort to lick that off. That's sticky. Yeah. And man, don't leave a single drop. You've got to get every little bit. So honey is a nice start. I like that one. Chocolate syrup. I did mention, I think, as we First got into this that I think a lot of sex is funny. We are goofy creatures, right?
So don't be afraid to laugh. If you get into this with your partner and something silly happens, have a good laugh about it. It's okay. Laughter is the spice of life, right? And we're cookin so we need spices. Reach into the pantry and grab the spices. Alright, let's get some flavor going. Talk about the taboo.
Set down the shame. Go ahead and try something different. If you want to get saucy, baby, get saucy. Maybe you want to be fed. That's another way to do it. Have a snack while your lover pounds you from behind. Another easy ingredient to ease in with would be fruit. Berries. Berries are cute. Sometimes strawberries look like nipples, you know?
Just have a little fun. Get silly with it.
[00:29:55] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Yeah, so you mentioned you doing the feeding is the feeder. Who's the person receiving the food? What's the
[00:30:05] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: I think the term is feedee, but I don't like that word. That's not
[00:30:09] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: fun. We need something else than that.
[00:30:13] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: Yeah, listeners, if you've got a better idea, I'm, I'm open to it.
Feeders and eaters? I
[00:30:19] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: like eaters. Okay, I thought of consumer, but eaters way better than consumer.
[00:30:24] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: Yeah, no, we all do enough consuming, don't we? Yes. Okay, so eaters, feeders. There is, I know a lot of my friends that naturally fall into the Mom category, you know, I think moms are often feeders But it's the life giving aspect of it.
You know, we we are able to give life with our bodies We are able to give life with food. Maybe Subconsciously deep in my soul because I've had a hysterectomy Maybe I find some maternal satisfaction in giving life through food, you know as hard as I try to Understand humans I never will. And I think that might be more of the joy for it for me too.
Like, okay, I don't get that, but I'm happy to know that it exists. Yeah, I know that a lot of my friends don't understand my kink and they think I'm A weirdo, but they will also tell you that that's exactly why they love me. I'm a weirdo. Yeah.
[00:31:32] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Yeah. Also too, you know, if they're saying, Hey, you're, you're a weirdo, you know, having this feeder king, maybe also there's an aspect of like not understanding fully.
The meaning of it behind it for you. I mean, you just talked about it on such a deep level. I mean, I'm a therapist and I do a lot of psychedelic assisted therapy. Oh, very cool. It is. It's so freaking cool. And what you were talking about how like, oh, I think on some level this is kind of like this maternal aspect because, you know, this part of me has changed, you know, with life surgery and things like that.
I'm like, I feel like that's, you know, kind of a realization someone would have after a psychedelic journey. Like, that's like such a dropping into your own
[00:32:18] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: subconscious. Absolutely. I didn't actually know that you do psychedelic therapy, but I am very intrigued because it's I'd like to explore that as well.
I am a major proponent of microdosing. I do believe that our brain pathways need a little bit of assistance in, you know, I don't know the right terminology. You probably know a lot more about it than I do, but I think that you're onto something. Absolutely. We, Don't see enough of the world as it is, and being able to comprehend how vast our existence actually is, with a little bit of help from maybe a mushroom or something, it's pretty cool.
You can always incorporate mushrooms into a recipe too. The opportunities are endless.
[00:33:05] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Yes. Well, I think we'll have a lot more to talk about after this post recording. Psychedelics now. Yeah, we will for
[00:33:13] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: sure.
[00:33:14] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Well, I know that we only have a little bit of time left, but I want to make sure we talk about everything that you think the listener should know about kinktuality.
about erotica, food, love, is there anything else that you feel is important for them to know?
[00:33:34] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: Oh, I'm sure as soon as we hang up, I'm going to think of at least a half dozen things that I wanted to say. Absolutely. And if that's the case, do your listeners ever reach out and email you or send you questions?
You know what? No,
[00:33:46] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: but I don't think I've ever asked. So right now, live as we're recording, if you do have questions, please email, you know how to get in contact with me, please comment on the episode. I think on Spotify, you can leave comments or questions. Oh, cool. So yeah, let's encourage that. Yeah, because
[00:34:05] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: that's like the theory or the theme here that we're talking about.
Let's talk about it. Let's put down the shame and make it something that you can bring up in any living room. You know, let's talk about sex. Yes. Let's talk about you and me.
[00:34:22] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: I love your personality. I'm so glad that you do so many things. Yay!
[00:34:26] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: I'm so happy to have met you. This has been a really fun conversation.
I'm really glad too. So I guess just to summarize, don't be afraid to lean into your kink. It doesn't have to be something drastic. It can be smooth and easy and mellow, it can grow on its own, google things, reddit has a lot of answers for strange kink questions, but don't be afraid to ask, and don't be afraid to try!
You never know what's going to Fire off that orgasmic climax like you've never had before. You know, when I had my first orgasm feeding my lover, I knew that that's something I had to recreate. So I didn't just know off the bat, this is what I like to do. It took some learning, some experience, different partners doing different things.
And so just remember that it takes all kinds and you're not alone.
[00:35:25] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Yeah, I like how you put that to help listeners kind of set their sexpectations around it. Yeah.
[00:35:32] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: Like, you might not get
[00:35:33] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: fireworks the first time.
[00:35:35] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: Mm hmm. Gotta start somewhere. Right. Yeah. Like, in the kitchen, I started as a prep chef. And then I eventually made it to executive chef, so I started in doggie style and I ended up on top with a slice of pie in my hand, so.
There you go. Yeah, there's always room to improve.
[00:35:55] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Also, that sounds like that's kind of hard. I don't know if you have to do some twisting if you're feeding from doggie style? No, no,
[00:36:02] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: no. I think I was on the receiving end at
[00:36:05] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: that point. Oh, okay. Okay, that makes more sense then. Yeah. That's easier to be said that way.
[00:36:11] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: I think I might be blushing a little bit. Have fun.
[00:36:15] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: I'm warm too, so it is getting hot in here. Okay. Yeah. This is great. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Can you let listeners know what you have going on right now, where to find you, how to get in touch with you, where to find your stuff?
[00:36:33] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: Okay, yeah, well, I have kinktuality.
com. K I N K T U A You can find a link to the Wicked Ashlyn podcast that I read chapter one on. You can find a link to the book Food and Sex, Pairing Cooking with Desire, and you can schedule a coaching session with me if you want to speak about kink for an entire hour. You can do that. So there are ways to reach me, and currently I am in the process of recording chapter two.
I've got a couple of DJ friends that are helping me with the musical aspect of it and mastering the audio. So I am on a learning curve of podcast technology. Thank you for everything you've taught me so far about this equipment. It's pretty exciting. I I just am going to keep forging ahead with my schooling, becoming a doctor of sexology and learning more about the human mind, body, and soul.
So, uh, and I'm getting hungry with all of this talking. I'm going to have to head over to my lover's house after this, I think.
[00:37:44] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Yes, me too. I, I mean, it's way early for you where you're recording, so it is breakfast. So I'm going to be close to brunch time over here, so. I think we need to both go eat. I think so.
[00:37:57] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: That would be a good way to culminate this discussion.
[00:38:00] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Yes. Well, Saffron, thank you so much for your wisdom, your normalization of taboos that, you know, may bring a lot of shame to people, but maybe in this episode have brought some light to hey, go try it out. You're okay for wanting to think that.
[00:38:20] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: Yeah, take a deep breath, let your shoulders drop, relax that jaw, it's gonna be okay.
The world is a pretty, may I, may I swear on here, is that okay? Fuck yeah. Yeah, the world is a pretty fucked up place right now and so if you can take some peace and pleasure from feeding someone while you fuck them. I think you should do that. I'm so excited.
[00:38:42] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Oh, I can't wait for this to come out. Yeah, me too.
All right, listeners, I will make sure to have all of the links in the show notes from what Saffron talked about, about how to find the book, the podcast where she did the reading, and then even to go book a coaching session with her and talk kink.
[00:39:01] Saffron Dubois, Chef, Author, and Lover: Oh yeah, and I am working on creating my own podcast for the book as well as having guests come on my show and talk about the book.
Kinktuality, and I have titled that Kinktuality, obviously, but, uh, it's still in production, so I will, of course, let you know when it is up and ready.
[00:39:21] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Yay! So excited for that and so excited to hear your voice. I love your voice. So. Thank you. You're welcome. All right, listeners, we will catch you on the next episode.
Thanks for being here. Bye. And that's a wrap for today's episode of Stubborn Love. I hope you gathered some wisdom to bring into your love life and improve your relationships. If you enjoyed today's chat, don't forget to subscribe and leave a review. That'll help this episode reach even more listeners.
If you have any questions or stories you would like me to cover in the future episodes, drop me a message. I love hearing from you. If you need extra support in your relationships, check out how we might be able to work together by popping on my website at paigebond.Com. Until next time, don't let being stubborn keep you from secure love.
Catch you in the next episode.
